Ever wondered why there are so many lumberjacks around these days?
You might be forgiven for thinking that the rather urban district of Shoreditch has had all its trees felled recently. That might explain why there are so many guys wearing flannel lumberjack shirts just sitting around in coffee shops until the logs need splitting.
But the truth is out. They are not real lumberjacks!
First it was metrosexual, then spornosexual and now it’s all about the lumbersexual (aka: a hipster who is still at university or has a job that requires a laptop). Here’s how to spot them in the inner city forests.
There was once a time when bushy beards were frowned upon, but these days your face bush is your passport into the scruffy hipster world. But you need to back up your beard with all of the below as it’s not about being lazy and not shaving, anybody can do that. The unkempt look takes a lot of skill and effort you see.
Does he look like he’s ready to chop down a Nordic forest? Good, then he’s wearing a lumberjack shirt: a key component of the lumbersexual’s uniform. Nice and casual, slightly baggy and found in High Street chain stores everywhere.
Fur-lined leather slippers provide a pleasing balance between warmth and style. They would be perfect for long nights in the log cabin, but they’re usually worn around a well-heated apartment with views across the wharf when working on an arty poster from home.
It’s funny really to think that rednecks, loggers and truckers have provided the inspiration for modern fashion trends, what next the farmer look? Oh no that’s already been done. So if your bushy hair hasn’t been styled (see below), then get your trucker cap on and blow your imaginary horn. The other hat of choice is the tea cosy, pom-pom hat or just something woolly usually worn by Grans or hikers.
There are some perilous escalators in many of the Oxford Street stores and one could be stranded on the men’s floor for hours without sushi. Hiking boots are essential for survival and also inject a bit of macho Ray Mears into the lumbersexual look. Crafted masculinity — that’s what it’s all about.
Unlike the axes, ropes and survival kit you’ll find in a lumberjack’s backpack, the only thing you’ll find in the lumbersexual’s backpack is an expensive laptop with an apple symbol on it. It has GPS on it though!
Usually light blue, slightly baggy and often rolled up or tucked into thick socks, jeans are back at the top of men’s fashion. Some lumbersexuals really push the limits and go for dungarees, but be warned as this craziness is only reserved for the super furry hipsters that lead the others. The unschooled and inexperienced will be ridiculed.
Everybody loves a Christmas jumper, but lumbersexuals are just too cool for joke fads and prefer a proper jumper. We’re talking about a fitted Scandinavian knit that is going to keep them super warm when the heating fails in the Apple store where they spend hours trying out tablets and talking to the staff about apps.
Bushy but subtly styled. This isn’t a man that just hasn’t had a haircut for a while as he’s been stuck in Alaska for a couple of months due to a brutal winter. This is a man that has had a bit taken off the length and his neck shaved by the expensive barber who says, “That’s £35 please”. There’s even a bit of hair wax in that mop too.