Santa Claus is currently prepping his sleigh, double checking his list and carb loading for the long trip around the world!
But what if he is a “hipster”? There are signs that he is, and if he is, then you can bet your bottom dollar he’s avoiding mainstream carbs in favour of a quinoa salad and a decaf soy latte.
Not sure what a “hipster” is? Let us explain.
What is a hipster?
Generally a hipster is someone who shuns popular music, fashion and general lifestyle choices, for a perceived higher level of coolness.
In recent times this has meant having a large beard, not listening to anything in the charts and dressing in vintage clothes. Often a “hipster” will go sockless and will roll up the hem of their chinos or corduroy trousers.
Finally, the word “ironic” is used often – either as a description of their actions or as a description of their dress sense. This irony is often born out of a judgemental attitude to other people, and their actions. For example, whilst you may wear a Christmas jumper as a way to get into the festive spirit, a hipster may ironically wear one to critique the nihilism of the post modern Christmas. You get the picture.
Signs that Santa is a hipster…
— Hipster Santa (@hipster_santa) December 5, 2013
Santa has a beard: A beard is the epitome of what makes a hipster a hipster, and St Nick’s beard is the stuff of legends. Literally. So if you wanted a decent starting point, there you go.
Odd/vintage clothes: Father Christmas is sometimes seen with a cape – and wearing your jacket as a cape is surefire sign that you’re on the way to becoming a hipster. Throw in the Santa suit which is as old as old can be, and you have one very vintage outfit. One thing that makes his clothing “unhipster” is his footwear, as big leather boots require socks.
He’s judgemental: Ok, this could be harsh on hipster folk as we are judging them by calling them judgemental, but – confusing moral conundrum aside – Santa is one incredibly judgemental man. Having a list of whether people are naughty or nice means he’s putting himself on a high moral and cultural pedestal. Very hipster indeed.
Despite the evidence, we don’t think Santa truly is a hipster. For one, he doesn’t roll up his trousers and he doesn’t carry a man bag (unless you count his sack). So you can continue to put normal milk out for Father Christmas this year, purely ironically, of course.