It’s great to have adventures, but for every person who posts their successful bucket list feats all over social media, there are many more of us who would struggle to fill a beaker with momentous undertakings.
We reckon it’s time to give the bucket list the boot. And what’s more, says Suzy Strutner, over on HuffPost, you’ll be much happier for it. Amongst her 7 Reasons Not To Make A Bucket List, she says that having one “sets a…standard for yourself, and it’s a standard you’re not likely to meet. Ditching it erases the potential for regret and allows you to celebrate the trips that you do accomplish.”
So here are Samuel Windsor’s easy bucket list alternatives. Go knock yourself out!
Ditch the six pack
When asked about their bucket list, the possession of the infamous “six pack” abs comes top of most men’s lists. But surely there are better places to spend your life than in the malodorous confines of a gym? And better things to eat than skinless chicken breasts washed down with whey protein shakes?
Rather than worrying about whether your abs match the man on the front of Men’s Health, why not just try to be healthy? A brisk walk, a bike ride or a visit to your local swimming pool are all great ways to exercise without overdoing it. And just remember, the plumper you get, the less water it takes to fill the bath – which saves you money and benefits the environment too.
Don’t run a marathon
To complete a marathon is a wonderful achievement. But not all of us have the time or the ability to complete the arduous training it takes to prepare for long distance running races. And besides, just look at the elite runners – do you really want to look like a twig with nipples? And anyway, with your dodgy knees, you’ll only do yourself a mischief.
So why not leave marathon running to the masochists, and opt for a low key alternative that gets your heart pumping but doesn’t do you in? Try a national scheme like parkrun which has free-to-enter 5k runs for all the family happening all over the country and further afield. Just register, run, make new friends, and enjoy the fun community atmosphere.
Don’t write a book
They do say we all have a book in us, but how do you know whether yours is a best seller or one bound for the bottom of the slush pile? If you really want to be an author, stop boring your friends with your ideas and get on with it. You’ll find writing classes at pretty much every adult education centre in the land. Just sign up for a night class and take it from there.
But if, like most of us, your story lacks the legs to carry it from conception to publication, why bother putting yourself through the misery of failure and rejection? We can’t all be good writers, but we can be excellent readers. If you’d love to read more but don’t know where to start, the BBC’s #Lovetoread is sure to inspire. Reading was never your strong suit? Never fear – that’s what audio books are for.
Don’t visit the Great Wall of China
Yes, it’s impressive but it’s still just a wall built to keep one side in and the other side out. Plus it’s a long way to China. Not only will the flight be exhausting and the food unusual, but afterwards, when you’re showing your jealous friends your snaps, you’ll know that smile of yours was nothing but a rictus of pain. Delhi belly has nothing on the Beijing trots.
Ever heard of Hadrian’s Wall? Much closer, and you’ll be able to enjoy fish and chips and a pint after.
Don’t go on a safari
Listening to a safari bore, anyone would think you’d never seen an elephant or a giraffe before. But have you ever spotted an otter in the wild? Or a seal? And sure, the East African Rift Valley must be a spectacular place to visit, but it’s hot, and then there are the flies to contend with.
Going on safari is a rich man’s privilege, and though the safari business undoubtedly helps provide local incomes and goes some way to protecting vanishing species, perhaps the best thing you can do to help is to save fossil fuel emissions by staying away. Instead, consider a visit to the Cornish Seal Sanctuary in Gweek. Yes, seals are like sausages with teeth, but they’re very graceful in the water – honest.
We hope you’ve enjoyed our bucket list alternatives – if you have any of your own to add, we’d love to hear from you.