Time is the master (sang Pink Floyd) and no matter how hard you try to run, the ticking hands of time will eventually catch you up – a kind of evil tortoise that makes you feel old as it overtakes you. What an upbeat feature this is!
But fear not, as the quest for longer-lasting youth, or at least looking younger than your true age, isn’t futile. You could get a 29-year-old Hollywood actress girlfriend like 52-year-old Johnny Depp did (see above), or try sleeping in vinegar and drinking elixirs.
But your best bet is just to follow these six simple rules.
1. Prune your face
You may think you’re far too macho to give a pluck, but those hairy bushes sprouting from your ears and nostrils are giving the game away – you’re getting old. So tidy up your face garden and make sure it stays tidy; pluck, shave and trim those unwanted nose and ear weeds. Facial grooming will knock years off you, so keep on it and moisturise too! It’s not about having soft skin, but preventing it from drying out and falling off.
See, skin is like a VHS cassette: every time it is taped over (or falls off) it loses quality (and looks older). The Manface blog puts it another way, “The skin is one massive organ. It’s actually the biggest organ in the body. The problem is that it’s actually last-place on the body’s to do list when it comes to fixing and repairing,” so visit their site for some excellent advice on skincare and grooming. Drink lots of water too and stay hydrated.
For those of you that want to go all out and shave years off your face (sorry) head over to the aptly named Pampered Prince and read up on the ingredients that actually help with ageing. First up on his list? AHAs and BHAs: “These chemical exfoliants are able to resurface the skin, refining skin tone and texture. They have the ability to repair barrier function and balance oil production.”
2. Laugh in the face of stress
Stress is your enemy — it will send your hair grey with worry if you’re not careful! Laughter is your friend, so laugh more and don’t stress out and your wrinkles will disappear. If only it was that easy, aye? Well, it kind of is…
Stress really is a nasty thing and can cause health problems and premature ageing due to the intense physical and mental pressure it brings. It’s like thrashing a small hatchback on the motorway in first gear — it ends with an explosion! The best time to relax is when you don’t have time for it, so take a look at the Positivity blog where you’ll discover 33 tips for avoiding stress.
The magic antidote to stress is laughter, and the Zesty blog explores 10 benefits of a good old belly laugh. These include strengthening your immune system, toning your abs and alleviating stress. There’s even a laughter line you can call if there’s nobody funny in your life (but surely you have a boss that takes life too seriously). Hilarious!
3. Get sweaty
Have you ever seen the state a car gets into when it’s been sat in a garage for months, or how a dog loses the will if it hasn’t been walked for a couple of weeks? Maybe not the best allegories, but you get the message right? Get rid of stiffness, laziness and that mid-section podge with a new exercise venture.
Walk, run, swim, salsa, whatever works for you: just get moving! You’ll feel happier, have more energy and improve your self-esteem. Not to mention, “regular physical activity also boosts memory and the ability to learn new things”, according to My Fitness Pal. If you need help with routines, there are hundreds of blogs to help you online; here are 60 fitness blogs to get you started.
4. Eat like a (healthy) King
Just to clarify, eating like a King is eating well, not eating until you pass out and have to be wheelbarrowed around. The importance of a healthy diet cannot be underestimated. “You are what you eat”: there’s never been a truer sentence than that one, especially with all the high-calorie junk food so readily available these days (mmm, doughnuts).
You can’t go far wrong by increasing your vegetable and fruit intake. In fact, research suggests that upping your veg intake will make you look more attractive. Head over to Lifehack to find out their top 15 anti-ageing fruit and vegetables: “One of the most delicious ways to prevent ageing is through preparing and enjoying particular foods”.
Enjoy a glass of red of an evening? Carry on, good sir! According to Eating Well, it “contains resveratrol, a compound that may activate genes that slow cellular ageing”.
5. Dress your age
“Some things get better with age, including how men dress,” says Alfred Tong in The Telegraph. Unless of course you’re a couch-addicted string vest and jogging bottoms kind of guy. Alfred does have a point though.
Dressing well is a smart move and, let’s face it, at your age you should know how to iron a shirt, wear a suit and invest in some quality shoes. Ignore cool kid fads, ill-fitting clothes and dressing like a science teacher, they’ll all make you look old and frumpy. Our favourite advice comes the Grey Fox blog: “Dress for yourself, feel comfortable, and don’t listen to the fashion police”.
6. Invest in a good mattress
Sleep is magical. It’ll benefit you in so many ways, keep your stress levels down and regulate your need for comfort food. But to get decent sleep you’ll need the right mattress, so check out the Sleep Council’s Guide to Buying A Bed.
Winston Churchill famously said: “Nature has not intended mankind to work from eight in the morning until midnight without that refreshment of blessed oblivion which, even if it only lasts twenty minutes, is sufficient to renew all the vital forces.” The Sleep Council agrees: we are designed for an afternoon nap. At last, no more excuses!
If you have trouble drifting off, try these top sleeping tips featured in the Guardian, which include: making your room as dark as possible (you shouldn’t be able to see the other side of the room), avoiding your phone (which tricks your brain into thinking it’s daytime) and warming your feet up before bed (which could shave up to 2 minutes off the time it takes you to fall asleep).