Samuel Windsor

Black shoes of the Underworld

When walking in the underworld it seems black shoes are the only infallible footwear.

From the blood-proof black shoes of gangsters to the blinding gloss of banker’s brogues, it appears black is the only shoe colour that counts when doing dirty business.

Gangsters

The black hearted Kray twins, Ronnie and Reggie, dominated the London underworld of the 1950s and 60s. Along with their brother Charlie, they ran protection rackets and committed hijackings, arson and armed robbery.

Their ownership of clubs in the West End put them in contact with the stars of the swinging sixties and they became celebrities in their own right. But the crimes they committed were beyond the pale – in particular, their murder of one of their own, Jack ‘The Hat’ McVitie, whose body was never discovered.

Why black shoes? They don’t show the bloodstains.

The Exorcist

For years Father Gabriele Amorth was the vatican’s chief exorcist – a black shoe wearer who means business.

He says Yoga and Harry Potter are, ‘the work of the devil,’ and claims to have conducted some 70,000 exorcisms. An exorcist par excellence, his favourite film? Yep, you guessed it – ‘the exorcist’. He says it’s substantially accurate, albeit a little heavy on the special effects.

Father Amorth favors black shoes – there’s no place for frivolity in this occupation – we think slip ons because you wouldn’t want to trip over your shoelaces in this game.

Zorro

It’s a tough job, but someone has to right wrongs, protect the vulnerable and steal from the rich.

Zorro means, ‘fox’ in Spanish. It’s thought the inspiration for Zorro, was one Joaquin Murrieta, a notorious Mexican bandit. Supposedly captured and beheaded by the California state rangers, nevertheless rumours rapidly spread that the head, displayed in a jar of alcohol, was not his.

Should you fancy a spot of sword swiping – make sure your shoes are black. So when your work is done, you can slip away into the shadows, ready to fight another day.

Sheriff

No sheriff, surely, can match up to the gun slinging, fast draw reputation of that ultimate U.S. lawman, Wyatt Earp.

Famous for his role in the gunfight at the OK Corral, Earp finished the shoot out with several holes in his long black coat, but incredibly, in all his long and illustrious career, Earp was never once wounded.

To emulate this hero of law enforcement, you’ll need an impressive set of whiskers, a preference for black clothes and of course the shoes – or boots if you prefer, should be black.

Bankers

They drink fine champagne, slurp down raw oysters and gamble with our hard earned cash.

If there’s one villainous bunch that is the epitome of modern day dastardliness, it has to be fat cat bankers. They make big bucks, spend vast bonuses on fast cars, and lead hedonistic lifestyles the rest of us can only dream of.

Greed is their creed, these people wear the sharpest of suits and think that their highly polished black brogues lend them an air of legitimacy. But we know better – they’re a bunch of crooks -and not a single one of them would be a match for Zorro.